Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
