Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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