I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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