I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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