So drunk its hurt
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize