Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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