Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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