DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize