Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
