Are we in a gay sports bar?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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