Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
