The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
