if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
