Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
