He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
