okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
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My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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