I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
