I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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