Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
