I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"