WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I could fuck to npr.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancĂ© called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.