Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize