Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
