But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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