Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Someone came in the potted fern
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
