yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
