I seem to have left my pride at pride
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize