Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
