His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
