So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
