There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
