He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
