fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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