using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
