My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
