dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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