Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party