we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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