ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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