he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
