that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
