Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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