Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
