Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize