I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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