i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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