Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
