We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
