I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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