Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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