4 words: hood of his car
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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