I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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