I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
