so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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