Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
