Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
