i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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