Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
