Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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